Half-Baked News 🥴
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James Earl Jones – The Voice That Never Faded
Yesterday, the world lost a true legend, and honestly, it feels like Darth Vader himself just turned off the lightsaber for good. James Earl Jones, the man whose voice could command an entire galaxy or narrate a tranquil Sunday morning documentary, has left us. And yet, even though he’s gone, his iconic presence will echo…
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Why Rosemary Shampoo is the New Snake Oil (But with a Better Smell)
Welcome to 2024, where rosemary shampoo is trending harder than your aunt’s Facebook posts. Apparently, the same herb that keeps your roast chicken tasting “fancy” is now the secret sauce for luscious locks. But is this just another overhyped product, or is rosemary shampoo actually the miracle it claims to be? The Benefits of Rosemary…
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Tom Brady Is Still Trending—But Why Exactly?
Let’s talk about the enigma, the myth, the legend—Tom Brady. No, he’s not suiting up for another Super Bowl (though, at this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if he announced a comeback during a TikTok dance challenge), but somehow, some way, this man is still trending like he’s got a new Netflix docuseries. Are we…
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Taylor Swift for President 2024? Why It Might Actually Happen
In a wild turn of events that feels just plausible enough, rumors are swirling that Taylor Swift is considering a run for the highest office in the land. Yes, you heard that right: Taylor Swift for President 2024 could actually be a thing. Her proposed campaign slogan? “Shake It Off… the Patriarchy,” naturally. But before…
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SpaceX Launches 7,000th Starlink Satellite: Is the Sky Now Elon Musk’s Wi-Fi Router?
BREAKING NEWS: SpaceX has launched its 7,000th Starlink satellite. Yes, you read that right. While we’re down here fighting for Wi-Fi signals from our local coffee shop, Elon Musk is busy transforming the night sky into his own personal space highway of internet satellites. What Is Starlink? Starlink is SpaceX’s internet service project. It uses…
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Reese’s x Angel Reese-A Partnership So Sweet It’ll Dunk on Your Diet
In today’s episode of “Things That Make Too Much Sense to Be Real,” we’ve got a delicious new partnership that’s about to change the snack and swag game forever. Enter Reese’s, the peanut butter cup royalty, and Angel Reese, the LSU basketball star with a game so fierce it could give a peanut allergy. It’s…
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Surviving a Zombie Apocalypse Using Only Celebrity Twitter Advice: A Guide to Guaranteed Failure
Picture this: The world has gone full Walking Dead. Zombies are everywhere, your survival instincts are kicking in, and naturally, you decide to consult… celebrity Twitter accounts for advice. Bold choice. Bold, yet questionable. You could grab a machete or find shelter, but no, you’re scrolling through the musings of people who probably haven’t opened…
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How to Get Kanye West to Apologize in Three Easy Steps
(and Maybe Get a Grammy Mention in the Process) Let’s face it, getting Kanye West to apologize is like trying to find a humble influencer—possible, but rare. Kanye, known for his controversial statements, interruptions, and general “Ye-ness,” isn’t exactly famous for admitting when he’s wrong. But don’t worry, with a little finesse (and maybe a…
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How the Great Toilet Paper Crisis of 2020 Wiped Out Our Sanity
The Great Toilet Paper Crisis of 2020 brought mass hysteria and empty shelves. Here’s how it changed everything from home supplies to human psychology—and why we’re still recovering. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Except, in 2020, it was mostly the worst of times—at least when it came to…
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