Author: Kevin Flanders
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Read more: White House, Inc Declares War on PigeonsWhite House, Inc Declares War on Pigeons
White House, Inc has officially declared war on Pigeons. And no, these aren’t just ordinary birds—they’re government-issued surveillance drones. If you’ve ever had the unsettling feeling that the pigeon sitting on your window ledge was watching you a little too closely, congratulations—you’re not paranoid. You’re just observant. Why the Sudden War on Pigeons? Fredrick “the…
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Read more: Manhattan’s Latest Hero: The Day-Tripper Who Tried to Walk the Entire Length of Broadway in One DayManhattan’s Latest Hero: The Day-Tripper Who Tried to Walk the Entire Length of Broadway in One Day
Ah, Broadway—a 13-mile stretch of asphalt glory, snaking its way from the Bronx to the tip of Manhattan. Well, this week’s news flash involves a guy who woke up one morning, had his oat milk latte (because, of course), and decided, “Hey, I’m gonna walk the entire length of Broadway today!” Now, to any sane…
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Read more: BREAKING NEWS: NYC Subway Duct-Tape Artist Claims His Latest Work Will ‘Stick Around for Ages’BREAKING NEWS: NYC Subway Duct-Tape Artist Claims His Latest Work Will ‘Stick Around for Ages’
Oh, you’re gonna love this one. Some guy decided the subway wasn’t grimy enough and took it upon himself to create “art” using—you guessed it—duct tape. His masterpiece? A life-sized rat, meticulously taped to the side of a 6 train. Passengers were thrilled, calling it “the most accurate depiction of NYC life.” MTA staff, however,…
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Read more: Tinky Winky Takes on Wall Street: Teletubby’s Bull Ride Shocks NYCTinky Winky Takes on Wall Street: Teletubby’s Bull Ride Shocks NYC
Because if there’s one thing this city needed, it’s a purple mascot declaring financial independence while hogging the spotlight from confused stockbrokers. So, a guy dressed as a Teletubby—I’m talking full-on, purple Tinky Winky—decides to spend his Monday morning trying to ride the bull on Wall Street. And I don’t mean metaphorically. Nope, this hero…
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Read more: BREAKING: Ducks Spotted Waddling Through Times Square Like They Own the PlaceBREAKING: Ducks Spotted Waddling Through Times Square Like They Own the Place
In today’s episode of “What Even Is This City Anymore,” a pair of pet ducks were casually walked through Times Square. Yes, ducks. Not dogs, not cats—ducks in tiny harnesses. They strutted around like they were about to drop their debut album, leaving tourists in a frenzy of photo ops and sheer confusion. Naturally, New…
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Read more: BREAKING: Pop-up artisanal kombucha stand right next to the halal cartBREAKING: Pop-up artisanal kombucha stand right next to the halal cart
Someone set up a pop-up artisanal kombucha stand right next to the halal cart. Because nothing pairs with falafel quite like a $12 bottle of fermented tea, right? It lasted an hour before the kombucha guy was chased off by a pigeon army. The pigeons now own the stand. Good luck getting your probiotics from…
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Read more: BREAKING: “Mistery Meat” on 14 St – Union SqBREAKING: “Mistery Meat” on 14 St – Union Sq
The “Mistery Meat” hot dog guy on the corner—yes, the one with the greasy cart that looks like it’s from the ’80s—is now selling something called “Mystery Meat Mondays.” No one knows what’s in it, and, shockingly, no one cares. They sold out in 30 minutes. People will literally eat anything if it’s slathered in…
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Read more: BREAKING: Heated debate among commuters on 14 St – Union SqBREAKING: Heated debate among commuters on 14 St – Union Sq
A pretzel cart vendor, parked suspiciously close to the 14 St – Union Sq entrance, has sparked a heated debate among commuters. The topic? Whether mustard or cheese sauce is the superior pretzel dip. Rumor has it, a guy named Sal won five bucks betting on mustard. His celebration dance caused three people to miss…
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Read more: Jon Bon Jovi Saves the Day (and Someone’s Life): The Nashville Bridge IncidentJon Bon Jovi Saves the Day (and Someone’s Life): The Nashville Bridge Incident
In case you needed a reminder that Jon Bon Jovi is a real-life superhero, here it is. The rock legend was casually filming a music video in Nashville when he noticed a woman on the ledge of the Seigenthaler Pedestrian Bridge, facing the Cumberland River. Channeling more than just his rock star charisma, he helped…