coming next on
the Drunken Report
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The Great Toilet Paper Crisis of 2020 brought mass hysteria and empty shelves. Here’s how it changed everything from home supplies to human psychology—and why we’re still recovering. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.… more ›
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September 3, 2024 – The Living Room Floor, Everywhere In a groundbreaking, or perhaps foot-breaking, development, LEGO bricks have officially been recognized as one of the leading causes of barefoot injuries worldwide. The World Health Organization (WHO) issued the alarming… more ›
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This week has been a rollercoaster of news that, at times, made us wonder if reality itself was on the fritz. From political bedlam to economic contradictions, and even a royal scandal or two, the world has once again proven… more ›
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From political statues doing their best impersonations to billionaires turning social media into a playground for spare change, it’s been a week where logic took a back seat and chaos grabbed the wheel. Mitch McConnell decided to practice his best… more ›
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Trump Faces Legal Hurricanes—Again This week, Donald Trump found himself swept up in yet another storm of legal woes, as his legal team filed a motion to delay sentencing in his hush money case. Their argument? The prosecution violated Trump’s… more ›
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In a political maneuver that has pundits scratching their heads and voters asking, “Wait, what?”, Vice President Kamala Harris recently announced that she’s considering appointing a Republican to her Cabinet if she wins the upcoming presidential election. Yes, you read… more ›
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In an awe-inspiring demonstration of dedication to oppression, Hong Kong has once again proven that no spark of freedom will be left unextinguished on its shores. The city, once known for its vibrant press and pro-democracy movements, is now striving… more ›
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In the grand tradition of “If it’s broke, don’t fix it—just make it worse,” Israel has launched its largest military operation in the West Bank in decades, a move that’s been described as “an action movie, minus the Hollywood ending.”… more ›
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Gujarat’s New Real Estate Trend: Floodplain Villas (Crocodile Included) Vadodara, Gujarat — Move over, Maldives! Step aside, Santorini! The latest in luxury living has hit Gujarat, and it’s making a splash—literally. Welcome to the exclusive world of Floodplain Villas, where… more ›