Washington, D.C.—In a plot twist straight out of a Coen Brothers movie, the FBI has been scratching its collective head over the latest attempt on former President Donald Trump’s life. While the agency has faced all manner of criminal genius… more ›

In an effort to improve the city’s collective mood, New York has passed an ordinance banning all public complaining. Residents must now channel grievances into interpretive dance or risk a $500 fine. The city’s therapy industry has reported record profits… more ›

In a bold bid to maintain public interest in space exploration, NASA has unveiled plans to send a crew of TikTok influencers to Mars. The mission aims to answer important questions like “How many followers can you gain in space?”… more ›

In a stunning upset, an anonymous Florida man has been elected President of the United States through a viral write-in campaign. His platform, promising to “keep things weird,” has resonated with a nation apparently ready for some light-hearted chaos in… more ›

In a move that perfectly captures the state’s renowned ability to blend disaster with flair, California has officially declared September as “Climate Apocalypse Month.” The announcement came during a press conference where Governor Gavin Newsom, flanked by palm trees visibly… more ›

In a controversial move to boost voter turnout, Congress has approved legislation mandating that all ballots be cast via TikTok dance videos. Critics warn of potential fraud, but lawmakers argue it’s the only way to keep democracy “trending.” In an… more ›

In an effort to protect citizens from the dangers of free thought, China has begun constructing a new Great Wall, this time encircling the entire internet. The project is expected to be completed by next year, just in time for… more ›

In a bold move to showcase military prowess, Russia debuted its latest “invisible” fighter jet. However, the launch was mired in confusion as attendees were left staring at an empty runway, uncertain if they were witnessing a groundbreaking invention or… more ›

Following the resignation of the latest Prime Minister, the Queen has announced a new initiative to streamline the turnover, allowing citizens to subscribe and receive a new PM every month, complete with a commemorative mug. In what has become a… more ›