Delegates attending the 35th annual Global Warming Summit were forced to cancel due to an unexpected blizzard, with many attendees questioning if irony has developed a consciousness and is now actively sabotaging human efforts. GENEVA— In what is being hailed… more ›

World leaders are reportedly scrambling to recognize Icevania, the world’s first nation entirely made of ice, after it declared independence from Earth. Diplomatic experts are concerned about the potential implications of an iceberg with nuclear ambitions. In a shocking turn… more ›

California has officially seceded from the United States, rebranding itself as the Independent Republic of Yoga and Avocado Toast. The new nation’s military, consisting entirely of yoga instructors, plans to conquer neighboring states through aggressive meditation and chakra alignment. Washington… more ›

NASA proudly reported that its Mars mission is years ahead of schedule due to an “unexpectedly high number of volunteers.” Unbeknownst to the public, this surge was actually the result of mistakenly leaving several interns on Mars during previous missions.… more ›

A Florida resident known only for his bizarre antics and alligator wrestling skills has announced his candidacy for President. His platform includes mandatory pool noodle fights in Congress and free sunglasses for all Floridians. Political analysts predict this might actually… more ›

The New York City Subway has unveiled an innovative way to tackle delays: turning them into a game. Riders can now guess when their train will arrive, with winners receiving a free ride and losers getting a lifetime supply of… more ›

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In an unprecedented move, Congress passed a bill that forces all lawmakers to read the full text of any legislation before voting. The bill led to mass confusion, as several politicians were seen frantically googling words like “fiduciary” and “appropriations.… more ›