half-baked news

By

Chiefs Fans Stuck Watching Political Football as DNC Ousts Preseason Game from TV

Kansas City Chiefs fans found themselves at a crossroads of patriotism and pigskin when their final preseason game against the Bears was preempted by the Democratic National Convention (DNC). Fans, who were already used to getting punted around by network scheduling, now face the ultimate challenge: deciphering political doublespeak instead of football playbooks.

Local station KMCI decided that democracy was more important than third-string quarterbacks, leaving fans with nothing but blackout screens and bewildered rants on Reddit. The NFL Network, apparently allergic to showing games to people who actually want to watch them, also pulled the plug due to blackout restrictions, adding another chapter to its “how to lose fans” playbook.

Meanwhile, YouTube TV subscribers are questioning why they pay for channels they can’t watch, and DirecTV customers are just happy to be included in the conversation for once.

Head coach Andy Reid, who was reportedly planning to rest all starters, must be relieved that no one will see his benchwarmers flub their chance at stardom. But for fans, the only thing worse than missing a game is the reminder that their TV overlords have the final say—whether it’s sports or politics.

So, if you’re a Chiefs fan in Kansas City, you have two options: brush up on your political jargon or just wait for the regular season. Either way, you’re probably better off reading the game recap the next morning—assuming it’s not preempted by a cooking show.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Discover more from the Drunken Report

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading