After months of intense negotiations, 200 nations proudly signed a historic agreement to combat climate change. Just hours later, temperatures soared, and all signatories cranked up their air conditioners, causing a global spike in energy consumption and leading experts to wonder if irony can actually melt ice caps.

Geneva, Switzerland – In what was hailed as a “monumental victory for the planet,” representatives from 200 nations gathered yesterday to sign the historic “Global Climate Action Pact,” aimed at drastically reducing carbon emissions and limiting global warming to 1.5 degrees Celsius. The signing ceremony, held in a lavish, air-conditioned conference hall, was celebrated with much fanfare, as world leaders vowed to implement sweeping changes to save the Earth from impending environmental catastrophe.

However, the ink was barely dry on the agreement before a record-breaking heatwave swept across the Northern Hemisphere, causing immediate and widespread panic. In a move that can only be described as spectacularly ironic, every signatory nation promptly turned their air conditioning units to full blast, sending energy consumption through the roof and CO2 levels skyrocketing.

In Washington, D.C., President “Eco-Warrior” Greenhouse (a nickname given just for the occasion) was seen signing the pact with one hand while adjusting the thermostat in the Oval Office with the other. “We are committed to saving the planet,” he declared, wiping sweat from his brow, “but first, let’s make sure we’re comfortable while doing it.”

Meanwhile, in Europe, the French President unveiled a new initiative to encourage the public to turn down their air conditioning by offering tax credits on wine and baguettes—an incentive he admitted “might just work better than asking them nicely.” The UK Prime Minister followed suit, launching a national campaign called “Fans Before Planet,” urging citizens to use traditional fans instead of AC units, while quietly installing a state-of-the-art cooling system in 10 Downing Street.

Not to be outdone, China’s Premier announced that all government buildings would be retrofitted with solar-powered air conditioning units by 2040, a move critics called “both ambitious and perfectly timed to avoid doing anything for the next two decades.”

The situation reached peak absurdity in Australia, where the Prime Minister, who had just delivered an impassioned speech on the need to reduce carbon footprints, was caught on camera ordering a personal snow machine to combat the relentless summer heat. When confronted, he simply shrugged and said, “Mate, if the planet’s going to heat up, I’m just going to chill out.”

Climate scientists, who had been cautiously optimistic about the pact, are now collectively banging their heads against their desks. “It’s like they’ve learned nothing,” sighed Dr. Greta ForReal, a leading climate expert. “We spent years crafting this agreement, only to watch it get fried faster than an egg on a New York sidewalk in July.”

As temperatures continued to rise, so did the rhetoric, with each nation accusing the others of not taking the pact seriously. The Brazilian President, from the comfort of his air-conditioned palace, blamed the rising heat on “imported pollution” from neighboring countries, while Canada’s Prime Minister announced plans to plant “a heck of a lot more trees” just as soon as he could tear himself away from his portable AC unit.

In response to the global hypocrisy, a grassroots movement has emerged, with millions of young people taking to the streets, demanding their leaders “turn off the damn AC.” Dubbed “Cool the Planet, Not Just Your House,” the movement has gained traction on social media, where activists are posting pictures of thermostats set to environmentally friendly temperatures and challenging their friends to do the same.

Meanwhile, the United Nations has scheduled an emergency summit to address the immediate surge in global energy consumption, which experts say could lead to the Earth reaching the 1.5-degree threshold by next Tuesday. The summit will, of course, be held in an air-conditioned venue.