The Great Toilet Paper Crisis of 2020 brought mass hysteria and empty shelves. Here’s how it changed everything from home supplies to human psychology—and why we’re still recovering.

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It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Except, in 2020, it was mostly the worst of times—at least when it came to toilet paper. What began as a global pandemic quickly morphed into one of the strangest economic phenomena of our lifetimes: the Great Toilet Paper Crisis of 2020. Suddenly, the world realized something no one had questioned before: our civilization was, quite literally, hanging by a two-ply thread.

A Hilarious Walk Down Panic Lane

Let’s take a trip down memory lane, back to March 2020, when COVID-19 transformed the world into an unintentional social experiment. Lockdowns began, and in a frenzy of pandemic panic, people turned grocery stores into the final frontier of survival. But it wasn’t canned goods, face masks, or disinfectant sprays that captured our collective hearts—it was toilet paper.

Images of barren supermarket aisles circulated across social media, sparking even more hysteria. Who knew we were all so dependent on that plush roll of paper? Suddenly, the humble toilet paper became the hottest commodity on the market—beating out diamonds, gold, and even Taylor Swift concert tickets.

But why toilet paper, of all things? There’s no definitive answer, though theories abound. Was it a metaphor for our desire to control the uncontrollable? Did people believe that hoarding TP would somehow keep the virus at bay? Or was it simply that one anxious neighbor grabbed ten packs, and we all followed like lemmings off a cliff?

The answer doesn’t really matter. What matters is that we came face-to-face with our darkest fears: empty shelves, sore rear ends, and the potential of having to resort to alternative methods of hygiene. Cue the rise of Google searches for “DIY bidets.”

When Trust Issues Meet Toilet Anxiety

Though the crisis might seem trivial now, its effects linger like that last stubborn square of TP at the bottom of the roll. First off, the great TP shortage unleashed a psychological reckoning. In a world where people were already nervous about a killer virus, the fear of a toilet paper-less existence only added to our collective trauma.

Many people found themselves harboring trust issues—not toward their loved ones, but toward their local grocery stores. Did they stock up on enough essentials? Was their local Walmart secretly hiding a backroom full of Charmin Ultra Soft? The crisis revealed just how fragile supply chains could be and how easily our sense of comfort could be flushed away.

The Rise of Toilet Paper Black Market Madness

While most people were just hoping to snag a single pack, others saw the opportunity of a lifetime. Enter: The Toilet Paper Black Market. On Craigslist, eBay, and Facebook Marketplace, enterprising individuals became the toilet paper barons of 2020. A 12-pack of Charmin Soft? That’ll be $100, please.

Capitalism, much like germs, thrives in a vacuum. With toilet paper supplies dwindling, opportunists cashed in, and some consumers were willing to pay premium prices to avoid the shame of their TP-less plight. Society had never been so divided. The haves flaunted their Quilted Northern like royalty, while the have-nots were left scrounging for single-ply scraps or, heaven forbid, turning to paper towels (anarchy in its truest form).

Bidets: The Unsung Heroes of 2020

If the Toilet Paper Crisis did anything good, it was the way it thrust the bidet into the limelight. Americans, who had long resisted the European-style bathroom accessory, suddenly found themselves reconsidering their hygienic routines. Bidet sales skyrocketed, with companies like TUSHY and Brondell becoming household names (because nothing says ‘2020 trend’ like shooting water at your behind).

For many, the bidet became a symbol of independence—no longer shackled to the tyranny of toilet paper shortages. If this pandemic taught us anything, it’s that human ingenuity knows no bounds when it comes to staying clean. With one spritz, bidets promised freedom from hoarding, a new world where TP shortages didn’t matter, and as an added bonus, fewer clogged pipes. Truly, it was the dawn of a watery revolution.

Is Toilet Paper PTSD Real?

Fast forward to 2024, and you might think we’ve moved on from the crisis. The shelves are restocked, the hoarders have been pacified, and yes, there’s toilet paper aplenty. But there’s no denying that something inside us changed forever. Our collective toilet paper PTSD lingers, manifesting in small but telling ways.

Do you buy an extra pack of TP when you’re at the store, even if you don’t need it? Do you feel a slight twinge of anxiety if your home supply dips below three rolls? Do you find yourself scouting the paper goods aisle with the precision of a Navy SEAL? If the answer is yes, you’re not alone.

Lessons from a Toilet Paper Apocalypse

If 2020 taught us anything, it’s that humanity will go to absurd lengths when faced with a crisis. We’ll fight for toilet paper like it’s the last artifact of a dying civilization. But it also taught us a few valuable lessons about supply chain resilience and psychological preparedness (which, admittedly, sounds much more serious than this toilet paper business really was).

Companies are now more prepared for potential shortages, having fortified their logistics to ensure that no one ever has to resort to an old shirt for hygienic purposes again. We, too, are smarter—or so we hope. The next time a global catastrophe hits, maybe we’ll hoard something more practical, like food or medical supplies, instead of stacking towers of Charmin in our garages.

The Paper Apocalypse That Never Should Have Been

In the end, the Great Toilet Paper Crisis of 2020 was more than just a supply chain hiccup. It was a cultural phenomenon that laid bare our deepest anxieties and triggered an obsession with bathroom hygiene that’s still alive today. And while we can now laugh at the absurdity of it all, let us never forget the chaos it brought into our lives.

Because if we don’t remember history, we’re doomed to repeat it. And friends, I don’t know about you, but I’m not ready for another toilet paper panic.

Besides, I just installed a bidet.